Overview of Special Forum Report on Marriage in the Age of HIV/AIDS
HIV/AIDS Education for Couples
Theme: Marriage In the Age and World of HIV/AIDS
The 40 Couples Declaration of War Against HIV/AIDS in Nigeria
Preamble:
The Nigeria Chapter of Teachers Without Borders recently convened a special forum for couples to discuss the issue of HIV/AIDS, as they relate to couples living with HIV/AIDS and those not yet living with the virus and their dependants. The program, which was held at the Teachers Without Borders Nigeria Community Teaching and Learning Center in Port Harcourt, brought together 40 couples from different ethnic nationalities as well as different religious affiliations in Rivers State.
The forum was a follow up to:
•The workshop for women on HIV/AIDS in Early May 2004, and the Port Harcourt Head Teachers Training Program (HTTP) on HIV/AIDS held from Mid May to June 2004.
•Special presentations on two radio stations – Treasure FM “Family Affairs” in August 2004 and Radio Rivers FM “Tuesday Live” in July 2004 and the NTA channel 10 “Our Guest” program on August 18, 2004, by the Country Coordinator of Teachers Without Borders - Nigeria.

Our Understanding of HIV/AIDS:
We the 40 couples, having participated in the workshop for couples with our spouses were taught about HIV/AIDS and we did learn and have understood that:
•The world today is being threatened by HIV/AIDS, a virus/disease spreading without borders, and is reaching out to both men and women, transcending religion, race, social status, etc.
•The HIV is a virus that lives in the body fluid, and weakens the body immune system, making it weak and open to easy infection by other disease agents.
•The HIV is transmitted through sexual and non sexual means
•The HIV is not transmitted through contacts like handshaking, hugging, greetings, traveling together in public vehicles and working together in the offices and shopping as well as other social contacts.
•There are over 40 million people living with the virus worldwide by the end of 2003, and that several children have been orphaned by AIDS related complications.
•Married persons are a high-risk group as infection by one partner puts the second person at risk.
Our Observation:
We the 40 couples, through our participation observed that:
•Despite the worldwide spread of HIV/AIDS, every couple without exception desires to be healthy and thus seeks to avoid HIV infection. We agree that HIV/AIDS Avoidance is the desire of all of us both as individuals and couples, as we want to be healthy and happy in life. That is, as couples, our desire is for HIV avoidance.
•Even though we all desire to avoid HIV, as we have learnt, we cannot purchase “HIV avoidance” from the market like a commodity.
•The realization of our desires to avoid HIV/AIDS depends on our behaviors as couples.
•Unfortunately, not all of our behaviors as couples lead to HIV avoidance, because we are either faced with risky human behaviors or unrisky human behaviors, which leads to HIV infection or HIV avoidance respectively.
•In most cases, engaging in un-risky behaviors by couples will lead to HIV avoidance and will result to happiness and good health. On the other hand, when any or both partners engage in any or some risky behaviors, the couples create opportunities that may lead to HIV infection, and if not identified and handled on time, leads to full blown AIDS, whose attendant consequence is suffering from ill-health and ultimately death.
•HIV infection or avoidance depends on the relationship and behavior we develop as couples with our spouses and other members of our family and community, and in particular, our attitude toward PLWHA can help fuel the spread if we are judgmental and discriminatory.
•Unfortunately, as couples, we are always faced with contradiction in our daily behaviors:
Such contradiction within each of us in our mind (intra-personal contradiction)
Such contradiction between each individual mind and body (personal contradiction)
Such contradiction between men and women as couples (inter-personal contradiction)
•Couples have on their individual basis and at different times and by different persons have received basic information on HIV/AIDS as viewed and presented by different organizations.
•There is contradiction in couples’ perspective to HIV/AIDS avoidance lifestyles, which has resulted from diverse exposure of couples to information on HIV/AIDS.
•There is a high level of ignorance of HIV/AIDS infection and avoidance behaviors by couples.
•Most couples are in darkness concerning HIV/AIDS issues, and desperately need the “light” to dispel such darkness.
•To dispel couples’ ignorance of HIV/AIDS, we have identified the need for a coupled focused “Education on HIV/AIDS”, which should involve both couples together and encompassing teaching, learning and practicing of HIV/AIDS avoidance behaviors as well as skills to care and support PLWHA, and how to raise up children in the age of HIV/AIDS.

Our Further Observation on Religion and Science Perspective on HIV/AIDS
We the 40 couples have however in a broad perspective observed that:
•Education on HIV/AIDS has been taken in two perspectives, namely religious educational perspective on HIV/AIDS and scientific educational perspective on HIV/AIDS.
•Educational intervention on HIV/AIDS prevention has been focused mostly on individuals – either as men or women, unlike the situation where a person is confirmed to be HIV+, where the spouse is invited and counseled on how best to manage the situation.
•Even though, both religious and scientific education on HIV/AIDS has the mission of dispelling human ignorance of HIV/AIDS as well as halting the further spread of the virus, in order to build a future without HIV/AIDS, the continuous spread is an indication of some postulations that “education on HIV/AIDS is falling on deaf ears”.
•There is the need to review the conventional approaches of education on HIV/AIDS, in such a manner that those not yet infected are encouraged and support to avoid infection, while those already infected as couples can be supported and care for through availability of anti-retroviral drugs.
•It is so unfortunate that religious leaders and scientists are yet to work together religious education and scientific education on HIV/AIDS has been in conflict, and has thus been unable to address the issue of the ravaging spread of HIV/AIDS.
•Most training programs being organized are either targeted at men alone or women alone but not men and women (especially the married persons) together as couples.
•The “men only” focused education on HIV/AIDS as well as “women only” focused education on HIV/AIDS has not empowered couples enough to be able to cope with the challenges of marriage in the age of HIV/AIDS.
•Several interventions that have been made focused either on men only or women only and in most cases, there are no coupled based educational programs on HIV/AIDS. Programs of education on HIV/AIDS have been for either men without their wives, or women without their husbands.
•In most cases, when men attempt to adhere to the teachings of HIV/AIDS without their wives, the results have always been frustration. On the other hand, most women complain that they have received education on HIV/AIDS, but without their spouses receiving similar education.
•This gender-biased approach has led to conflict between men and women in the battle to stop the further spread of the virus.
•There is contradiction in behavior of men and women towards the issues of HIV/AIDS. This conflict has prevented the control of spread of HIV among married men and women. Recent reports indicate the increase in HIV infection among married women.


Our Commitment as Couples:
We are committed to the resolution of Teachers Without Borders – Nigeria to bridge this HIV/AIDS Education Divide between men and women, and as couples, we endorse the idea of multi-disciplinary education without borders on HIV/AIDS.
•To resolve this conflict in behavior between men and women in the battle against HIV/AIDS, we commit ourselves as couples to the need for a vision of education on HIV/AIDS that can bring together men and women as couples for education on HIV/IDS, and as well encourage the harmonization of the religious and scientific perspectives on HIV/AIDS.
•Such an education must not be only focused on men alone or women alone and must also not be only religious or scientific but rather should be an integrated religious-scientific education for couples on HIV/AIDS.
•We condemn all teachings that encourage individualism, especially the issue of personal salvation from HIV/AIDS, which religions have taught and encouraged gender-unfriendly approaches to education.
•We endorse and pledge to maintain absolute fidelity in marriage from this day forward, and to ensure that we raise our children to observe abstinence from sex until marriage.
•We also recommend the use of condoms by couples, whose spouse are at risk or tested to be HIV infected.
•We, as couples also, condemn all forms of discrimination against Couples Living With HIV/AIDS and call on stakeholders to make available ARVs for all PLWHA.
•We recommend adequate education on Prevention of Mother To Child Transmission of HIV/AIDS.
•We also recommend a careful examination of the use of marriage as a tool to prevent the further spread of HIV/AIDS.

Signed on behalf of the participants by:

Couple Raphael & Bupe Oko
Country Coordinators, Teachers Without Borders – Nigeria
August, 2004

Port Harcourt, Nigeria