Habib's Garden

This really struck me hard. Syd Fredrickson forwarded an email from Bill Aal saying that Habib had passed. I forwarded it on to my local communities (Songaia and New Earth Song) and shared the information with the core FIC leadership (Fellowship for Intentional Community).

Then I began reading Habib's blog... something I had only glanced at a couple of times since it launched. Some of the stories and vignettes in there are incredibly poignant and helpful as we remember him. My wife, Karly, didn't know Habib as well as I. I shared with her about him.

I read the following story (Habib's words follow) to her out loud and broke down in tears... it was incredibly hard for me to finish the story and Karly came across the room to comfort me.

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Making Choices
Posted by habib on 13 Aug 2007 | Tagged as: Aging, Loneliness, Choice, Choices

I went and saw our old neighbor today.

Marie is 94 years old. She had to move to an assisted living facility about 2 years ago.

In the year that we lived next door, we got pretty close. Marie is an amazing woman. She single-handedly established one of the major industries for African American Women in the Seattle area. She directly impacted the lives of many hundreds of people, and indirectly impacted the lives of thousands.

Now she sits alone in her room, staring out the window. Her wit is still sharp. But, the rest of her mental faculties are fading.

Marie is incredibly lonely, yet she consistently makes the choice not to spend time with the people in her assisted living facility. That would not be my choice, but it is hers to make. Outside of that choice, Marie does’t have a whole lot of choices. She didn’t choose to leave her beloved house, her friends in the neighborhood, her church. She doesn’t have control over her physical health, or how fast her mind is slipping away.

My wife and I are the only ties she has to the neighborhood — and the house — that she loved. None of the other neighbors either can or will drive to see her. Her nephew is a gem, and does everything he can to take care of her. But, the rest of her (quite large) family also never come to visit.

So, she sits. And stares out the window. And wonders why she is still alive.

I made a choice today. I was driving by Marie’s assisted living facility and I choose to go visit her.

Making that choice took about 1 hour of my time. It literally made Marie’s day.

We all have choices we can make. Some of us have the privilege to have more choices than others. God willing, we sometimes choose to use those choices in a compassionate way.

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Craig again:

There is a lot of context for why this hit me so hard, but those aspect of my life are not what matters now. What does matters is that Habib truly cared about others, including those who did not serve his own, self-interest. He took direct action to express his care and compassion.

Thank you Habib!