Culture of Peace Initiative
Peace Practices - Peace Day September 21
The Culture of Peace Initiative (CPI) is a UN-designated "Peace Messenger Initiative" with participants in all the world's regions. Its purpose is to unite the strengths of organizations and individuals who are working to make Peace a practical reality. The highlight of the Initiative is International Day of Peace (Peace Day), which is celebrated ...learn more
GROUP DETAILS
Created: Sep 14, 2007
Updated: Nov 27, 2009
Membership: Open
Public
Topic: Non-Violent Communication (NVC) Skills
Posts (1 - 11 of 11)
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The Peace Alliance (Campaign for a Department of Peace) hosts FREE monthly NVC Communications Calls. The next live call will be Thursday, April 30, 2009. You can also download recordings of previous conference calls.
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thanks for the great post, Mike. Keep up the good work.
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I've been studying NVC for close to four years. My mentor is Miki Kashtan, co-founder of BayNVC and the host of the monthly activist support calls for The Peace Alliance. Miki is also offering teleclasses through the NVC Academy.
NVC is based on the fact that all humans share the same relatively small set of needs, whereas there are a virtually infinite number of strategies that can be found to meet our needs. Acceptance of this axiomatic truth leads to common ground and therefore empathic connection, even with our "enemies." Our needs are never in conflict - it is differences in preferred strategies that give rise to conflict.
As soon as we become willing to drop the accusations, labels, and judgment about who is right, who is wrong, and who deserves what, we become capable of hearing other people in a different way. When we can truly hear and be heard, then all the needs can be held with care, and our human creativity can be put into play to find a strategy that will meet all the needs. |
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Thanks Michael for inviting me to share about NVC here. NVC is one of my favorite concepts and I find it so empowering, even just knowing the concepts, and used verbally it can work shocking magic imo. Rather than write about any specifics, I highly recommend the book, and anything free online people can find about it. I also caution going to a practice group or presentation on it without having read the book and scrounged for free info. so that a solid foundation will have been laid. I sometimes call it 'The antidote to mind control', it's also known as Compassionate Communication.
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Thank you for the great comments Adam and Susan! I'm gonna take some time to take some of the courses and listen to the communciations calls - then I'll report back my thoughts. I listened to a lecture on NVC once, but haven't invested time into it to practice if effectively.
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software must be acting up... trying to post again: Non Violent Communication Skills: an art out of the reach of the human race perhaps. Something to strive for.
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The February 2009 NVC conference call was about how to apply NVC principles to political lobbying, in particular lobbying for a US Department of Peace. It's nice to see how NVC is being taught as an organizing tool.
One thing the moderator said which stuck out to me: "I would put a whole lot more attention on how you listen than what you say"
She encourages constituents from crafting messages to politicians which are initially too well-crafted or structured. Rather it encourages people to do some research before hand and to eventually try to find areas of commonality at first. The next step is to reflect the other person's concerns and interests, to show that you're also interested in what they're interested in.
It seems NVC is a great way to get your foot in the door, and to establish a first meeting. But once you do that, what's next?
What I found lacking from the conversation about how to apply NVC principles as a means to lobby for a US Dept of Peace, were concrete examples of how peacebuilding creates social change. Without reference to such examples, "peacebuilding" seems rather abstract and may not capture enough popular support to sway politicians to create an entire US Department.. for peace.
What I'm curious about now:
Where on the Internet can we find specific examples of success stories / best practices of peacebuilding / conflict resolution? Are there sufficient examples out there? Is there a need for a centralized site?
US Peace Alliance has a small section on programs which have effectively reduced violence in communities, and which the US Dept of Peace could support more systemically.
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Mike I do appreciate your comments and energy on NVC. This is a very interesting field. I like reframing "peacebuilding" or "conflict resolution" as Conflict transformation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conflict_transformation ...
"that contemporary conflicts require more than the reframing of positions and the identification of win-win outcomes. The very structure of parties and relationships may be embedded in a pattern of conflictual relationships that extend beyond the particular site of conflict. Conflict transformation is therefore a process of engaging with and transforming the relationships, interests, discourses and, if necessary, the very constitution of society that supports the continuation of violent conflict"
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I've heard a lot of great things about Non-Violent Communciation. Those who practice it say its very useful for improving relationships and to address conflicts. But it takes time to practice and perfect...
Does anyone have resources on Non-Violent Communication online? Or tips they have to share?
The NVC Academy has an interesting video introduction to NVC and offers 3 free online courses, in addition to free NVC recordings and guides. Great place to get started.
According to the site:
The word "nonviolent" in Nonviolent Communication refers to the term as Gandhi used it when he spoke of the absence of violence in the human heart. In Nonviolent Communication (NVC), we recognize that certain language dehumanizes other people, or disconnects or dissociates us from those people. NVC seeks to keep us connected to what is alive within us and other people.
NVC allows us to:
Value everyone’s needs equally.
Know that every action or word is an attempt to meet a need.
Most people refer to violence as physically trying to hurt another. In the NVC process we also consider violence to be any use of power over people, or trying to coerce people into doing things. That would include any use of motivating others by fear of punishment and promise of reward, or any use of guilt, shame, duty or obligation. Violence in this larger sense is defined as any use of force (verbal or physical) to get people to do things, or any system that includes structures that support this “power-over” paradigm.